My Blue Heaven

Love, hate and itchy feet

Yet another month and two WordPress upgrades have passed between blog updates. Oops. Well to be fair I’ve been absolutely flat out with work for the past couple weeks. Late nights at work have become common place, and I’ve not even blinked an eye at the possibility of working on the weekend (luckily for me it didn’t come to that.. only went as far as receiving a phone call waking me up 11:30am last Saturday by the few unfortunate ones who did have to go into work, needing some web dev advice to fix some random issue).

Anyway I’ve contemplated blogging a few times over the past week or so. Been having random thoughts about dance, life in London, and people, going through my mind lately. Maybe I’ll get it all out in this blog post. First.. we come yet again to the topic of life in London. I was contemplating recently that I seem to have a bit of a love/hate relationship with London. Though I know I mostly come across as hating London in all sorts of ways, there are many things I also love about London. And I seem to yo-yo between the two fairly often. Not sure if it will ever resolve into a peaceful acceptance of life as a Londoner. And maybe thats what I want.. a more peaceful life. Which brings me to itchy feet. I’m starting to feel a bit restless here… starting to feel there isn’t much reason for me to remain in London. For example, there are very few people here that make me feel like there is a reason to stay. My boyf obviously.. and one girl friend. Other than that.. I consider everyone else an acquaintance.. people who would say their goodbyes and then forget about you within a week.. maybe two. I don’t even think many would miss me at all here. Is that a bit sad?

I’m also starting think I’m becoming a bit of a workaholic. Sometimes I actually feel happier being at work because it means I’m too busy to think about other things… like my lack of social life.. and lack of true friends. Maybe it’s even a sub-concious reason as to why I keep myself so busy with so many activities, as well as loving them of course. Speaking of which.. I might just list out all the extra-curricular activities I’m currently cramming on my plate:

• lambada dance classes/club
• salsa dance classes/club
• samba dance class
• learning italian (evening course tues nights and self-study)
• playing piano & The Sheridan Trio (admittedly we haven’t rehearsed as a trio since last year)
• yoga & going to the gym/swim

Also a few things I wish I could still do/am contemplating doing:

• hiphop dance class
• jazz dance class
• another music course at Goldsmiths/attempt to finish my Certificate in Music Studies
• try to find more gig opportunities/other bands (jazz or latin) to play with
• write music and/or work on existing songs and record a sample demo
• get back into vlogging and making videos for YT regularly again
• change vocation.. ok only half serious about this but sometimes the thought does occur to me either because I’m sick of the back issues.. or I feel like I’m more suited to different work

So errr… yeh that’s quite a lot. And having jotted it all down.. I’ve noticed almost everything is artistic in one way or another… dance.. music.. video creation. My problem is I just don’t have the creative talent to actually be able to succesfully create things of worth (ie good enough to make a living.. and I’m sure if I tried I would probably lose the love for it). I’ve tried writing music before and I just don’t have it. I’ve tried designing, and well, I can’t. I’m not good enough at dance or playing piano to make a profession of it.. and anyway I really don’t think I could live on a “struggling artists” income – I’ve had enough experience of the reality of that path already. They’re all just hobbies. I don’t particularly want to make a job out of them. Anyway most dance teachers I know don’t do it full time – they all have “day jobs” too.

Hm I’m starting to lose track of where I’m going with this rant.

What is this about anyway… Friends? London? Vocation? Life? Everything I guess. I’m sometimes half inclined to just pick up and leave.. find somewhere new and exciting to go. To start afresh again. To have the opportunity of really making friends. To be someone new. Or to become again that positive & energetic girl I once was.

Ciao!

Hm.. I really need to update this blog more often than the once-every-one-or-two-months that’s currently happening! I mean seriously, you know you’re a lazy blogger when your blogging software gets updated more frequently than your blog posts.

So I was playing with my blog recently, and during some updates I decided to have a play with the Last.Fm Records WordPress widget. I didn’t like how it was displaying the recent tracks album art (bit buggy too).. and seeing as it was written using jQuery (my hands-down fave javascript library), I customised it with a bit of css & js magic to fit better with my blog style. I also added a bit of extra functionality to display the song title/artist info as text (on mouseover). Quite happy with the results now (its the box in the right side bar called “Kazzart Tunes In”). Also I’m quite happy with the fact that doing this sort of thing is now relatively easy for me, due to the amount of experience I’m getting at work. I’m rather enjoying creating cool jquery animations and impressing account managers, designers and flash developers alike. 🙂

So.. enough about work/tech talk. It’s been taking over more and more of my life ever since my recent-ish move in the past few months onto this current client account (which will remain nameless). I am enjoying the work though, which is interesting, creative and challenging (all must-have’s for me to not get bored at work), so I guess I can’t complain too much.

In other news.. got back recently from an amazing week in Sardegna, Italia. It is so amazingly beautiful there and the weather was perfect every single day – blue skies, sunshine and a perfect low 30’s deg C. I am made for the heat. Every day was spent in the sun, either relaxing in the Mediterranean sea or by the enormous pool of our apartment residence. I really wish I were back there right now. Le sigh.

More pics and a holiday vlog to come soon!

What else.. well, I’m still dancing both cuban salsa and zouk lambada. I love both. I’m more experienced with salsa – now I can dance that quite confidently with any partner in the club now, or participate in a rueda de casino. Gone are the days of nervous anxiety, fear of screwing up the steps or worrying about not being able to “follow his lead”. I still screw up sometimes of course, but I recover much better as my sense of the clave “timing” is much more instinctive and natural. I even get son timing. (This is where being a musician becomes an advantage 😉 ) Lambada however is not quite at the stage of being able to confidently follow the lead of a partner. However I don’t have the “hang ups” I used to have when I first started salsa. I also have yet to try a proper night out dancing in a lambada club. Not just “have a couple dances after class”. I’m going to try this tomorrow at the London Dance Congress! Going to do the workshops and then go to the party night afterwards. Should be fun!

On the music front.. it’s been a bit quiet, other than jamming with the trumpet player in the London street piano’s festival. However this morning I just managed to arrange a date The Sheridan Trio’s first gig for summer 09 – on Saturday 15 August! I’m really looking forward to it – I really enjoy playing with our trio and it’s been too long…

Another new thing is that I’ve recently completed a 10 week italian language course! (Beginner Plus level). I’ve signed on for the next level (elementary) and classes start next week. It’s tough learning italian, and I don’t practice nearly enough. But I am learning loads, and hopefully will get to a stage where I can start having conversations with the boyf in italian. Not quite there yet!

Well, that’s the latest on the Kazzart news front. Ciao e ci vediamo presto. 🙂

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Now playing: Milk & Honey – Didi

Coz I’m (not) just a girl

So.. my rant for today is: make-up.

I seriously do not understand why girls feel the need to always wear make-up on a daily basis? I was pondering about this recently whilst out on the weekend with some friends – one was wearing sunglasses and being quite reluctant to take them off because she hadn’t applied any make-up that day. What’s with that?? What’s there to hide? Why be ashamed of your own face/eyes?

Personally, I hardly ever wear any make-up.. unless I’m going out in the evening for a special occasion or going clubbing. I mean, I do enjoy wearing make-up (it’s quite fun to experiment with), but for 90% of the time, I just Can’t. Be. Bothered! I’m quite happy with how I look au naturale, and to be honest, I’d prefer to let my skin (and eyes) breathe naturally without having my pores clogged and chemical gunk on my eyes 12 hours a day. I admit my eyes are a bit sensitive and prone to irritation from make-up, which probably plays a part in my reluctance to incorporate make-up in my daily routine, but still, even if that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t feel the need.

Beh. It’s not like I don’t care about my looks – I’m still quite the girly girl. I love wearing dresses/skirts and I always blow dry my hair for example. But I guess I just prioritise comfort over pandering to looks when it really doesn’t matter whether you have that bit of eyeliner on or not. On most normal days (eg going to work, casual socialising on the weekend, going to the park) my make-up routine includes all of “apply some blistex whilst on the train”.

Am I unusual in this mindset? It just struck me that it seems to be the social norm for girls to have some form of make-up applied in “everyday life”, because.. god forbid anyone see their real skin/eyes/lips! Seriously, if you want nice skin.. eat healthily, drink healthily, stop wasting time/money smoking & binge drinking and do something positive & productive like exercise!

/rant!

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Now playing: Polo Montanez – Un Monton de Estrellas

Thoughts on the British Pub Culture

Recently I tweeted this fairly bold statement:

A txt in todays London paper completely sums up an attitude I despise in British culture: “Coffee shops are a poor substitute for the pub”

And recieved a questioning response from a follower:

Why’s that cause you such offense? Coffee shops are becoming the new pub after all and not everyone will be happy with that.

It made me ponder – why did that txt in the London paper create in me such a strong response? Perhaps I’m just becoming more opinionated in my old age. 😛 I was about to tweet a reply and then realised I most definitely would not be able to fit an adequate response within 140 chars. Lol. So seeing as it’s an issue I’ve often mulled and ranted (to my bf) on in the past, I thought it would be worth getting these thoughts written in a more succinct and coherent form here. Besides, I’m well overdue for a new blog post. 😉 But enough waffling.. what I really wanted to do here was answer the question.

I think initially it has much to do with my background and cultural upbringing. I come from Sydney, Australia, where the “cafe culture” is alive and thriving, and more specifically grew up within the ABC (Australian Born Chinese) sub-culture. If we wanted to meet up, we would first suggest any of the numerous cafe’s to meet for a coffee or meal and a chat. Although drinking is quite rife amongst many Australians, my circle of friends weren’t really into it that much – and if we wanted to go out and “party” we would go to a club to dance (like myself, many of my friends were also very into dancing). For me, socialising has always been about food (oh how we love good food), non-alcoholic beverages (eg coffee, hot chocolates, fresh juice smoothies etc) or some form of physical activity (dancing, sports, going to the beach, bush-walking, having a bbq.. whoops that’s food again).

So compare that to Britain, where first and foremost the average Brit’s idea of socialising involves alcohol and the pub. I have been here for nearly 4 years and still do not feel like I fit in with the whole drinking/pub culture. Everytime people mention the they’re going to pub.. well, to be honest I find the going to the pub extremely dull and boring. This is also largely due to the fact that I actually dislike the taste of almost all alcoholic beverages. So why go and force myself to drink something I dislike whilst watching others get roaring drunk and generally making fools of themselves? I would much rather sit in a cosy warm cafe on comfy chairs (who wants to stand the whole night?) and relish over some good coffee and great conversation. Heck, I’d rather sit and watch paint dry. 😛

I also have a very strong disapproval towards binge drinking. It’s a chronic problem in this country and it’s not something Brits should be proud of. Just this morning I read an article in the Metro that stated in a recent European poll, a survey of 35 countries, found the UK had the third-highest number of 15 and 16-year-olds with an alcohol problem. And I believe this problem is inherently due to the mindset of the British culture. The mindset that drinking to excess is cool and fun and even something to boast about. If this is the impression adults give, what other model do the younger generations have to go by? And that txt sent in seemed to really encapsulate this thinking.

To put some additional perspective on my rant, it’s not that I never drink or completely disapprove of drinking. I can enjoy an occasional alcoholic beverage over a meal (have started to enjoy a spot of wine with some good pasta or meat, and am not adverse to a bit of Italian Limoncello following a tasty italian meal). I might even go for 1 drink at a bar/pub occasionally for the sake of conversing with friends or to celebrate a birthday. And if I go clubbing, I may enjoy a drink (preferably something tasty like a mojito) to kick off the festivities of the night (though no more than 1 or at most 2 because drinking and (serious) dancing most definitely do NOT mix). But I think my idea of alcoholic beverage consumption is more closely aligned with that of much of continental Europe. Probably one of the reasons I seem to always feel more at home when I’m over there. It is something to be enjoyed on occasion, in small amounts, and usually to complement good food.

Zouk Lambada

I’ve recently started learning a new amazingly beautiful dance from Brazil called Zouk-Lambada (a bit different from the old 80’s lambada). I’ve only been taking classes fora month but I think I’ve fallen in love with the beauty, passion and grace of this dance. It is different from salsa in many ways, and IMO, physically and technically more challenging.

Below is a video recently taken at my dance teacher’s birthday celebration performing a birthday dance with her husband (who is also a Lambada teacher). They look so amazing together!

She is my inspiration in this beautiful art form and as you watch her dance, I think you’ll see why!

(Btw notice the shiny new video player I’m using? I’ve decided to start hosting my own videos.. it’s only a bit of extra work after the video editing – flv compression and incorporating a flash video player into my blog… but seeing as I have the tools and the know-how… Perchè No! Why not!)

Snow Day in London

On 2nd February 2009, London saw it’s heaviest snowfall in 18 years… and I actually made it into work! I’m glad I did though, because we had the most epic snowball fight EVAH! 🙂 The vlog below documents this epicness, as well as some pretty snowy scenery along the way.

Blogalicious

Don’t ask me why I decided on that title for this post. It just sprung up in my brain and wouldn’t leave. Anyway.. it’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I don’t want this blog to completely die, having been around for all of 6 years, 11 months, 3 weeks and 3 days (you won’t believe how long it took me to figure that out).

So I’ve recently been trying to resurrect some of my online presences. Since I’m just not going to be able to vlog very regularly (it’s just too time-consuming!), I’ll have to fall back to the good ol mediums of text and image. I’ve even resurrected Kazzart Cam! Albeit using a new web 2.0 service called Daily Booth. The whole concept suits me to a tee (once they get their rss feed fixed of course) afterall, it’s exactly what I used to do with my webcam.. except manually.. without all this new-fangled web 2.0 rss, social networking, technological flash webcam schtuff. 🙂

I recently had a look at my blog as it was “back in the day” using this really cool tool on Internet Archive called The Wayback Machine. Basically it is an archive of the internet! From as far back as 1996! Of course it doesn’t contain *everything* but there is a lot there.. and I found a few archived versions of kazzart.com from 2003 to 2005. Was rather amusing to take a glimpse back in time.. *sighs*

I’d forgotten what I used to do with my blog.. how on top of my blog entries, I also kept this “Meme” sidebar regularly updated (manually!) – it contained a latest snapshot from my webcam that I kept at work, my current mood, a timestamp, what I was listening to, what I was reading, what I was eating & drinking, what I was wearing, what I was doing, what I was thinking, and upcoming tasks to do! I also had a separate box for my current “wishlist” of shopping items, and another for upcoming events! Basically, it was pretty much Facebook, Twitter & DailyBooth rolled into one… manually kept up-to-date. Gee it’s no wonder I’ve “hit the ground running” so to speak.. and taken to the sites mentioned above like a fish to water. It’s exactly what I used to do.. but made easier! *ruminates over the memories*

I have also recently found my webcam archives which I thought I’d lost! I’ll add those pages to this website at some point too. But that might take a while coz I’d created them using tables for the layout… *eek*! Yeh.. I’m so glad I’ve moved on from those dark days…