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11:43 pm Tue, 10th June 2008

Feeling extremely deflated at the moment. Sometimes I don’t know why I bother putting so much effort into trying to do (and not only do, but excel at) so many things at once. Sometimes I am so busy I don’t even have the time to pee. Life (not to mention my bladder) would be much more relaxed if perhaps I stopped trying to be superwoman. Stopped trying to have my cake and eat it too. (But I do so love a good vanilla cheesecake.. mmm…)

Meh. It’s late.. again. I never go to bed early enough. I’m always tired. I don’t have time to go to the gym anymore – I haven’t even been to my once a week yoga class in 2 weeks (which means I’m wasting money on gym membership fees). I haven’t been to hiphop dance class in a month and a half (which means I’m also wasting money on my dance studio membership fees). My neck and shoulders have knots the size of large boulders and are a constant discomfort/pain. I am struggling with RSI in my right wrist (the tendons are inflamed). I am almost constantly stressed. Still get sick too easily. I am really struggling financially. Plus my parents don’t approve of my life or choices. I never have time to do the things I need to do.

I just want a break from it all. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the brink of not being able to handle it.

Perhaps part-time music college + demanding full-time job + playing in a band + other hobbies/activities = It Is Not Possible.

Posted in Introspection, Life, Rant & Bitch | 6 Comments »

  1. 6 Comments on “Meh”

  2. Joe Miller
    Jun 12, 2008

    This sounds very serious! If I may be so bold, you really need to get control of all these things, friend. I know I am not telling you anything you don’t already understand. I hope you are checking in with a doctor. Massages? Meditation?
    You just got into too much, it seems. You need some down time. Maybe a real vacation somewhere different to just breathe? Wishing you well so you can get back to all that you love. Take care. Joe

  3. John
    Jun 12, 2008

    Hi Kaz,
    RSI is a serious thing. I know that for sure because I had it (in my case it was tennis elbow induced by mouse usage!). Go and see a physio before it’s too late. Or maybe you just overworked…
    Good luck.

  4. Kazzart
    Jun 13, 2008

    Thanks guys. Yeh I saw a doctor about the RSI. She said I just need to rest it and take anti-inflammatories. Its not as bad as it was 2 weeks ago. I think it was the combination of long rehearsals for that gig we had plus intense and stressful work that caused it. I have a bad combination of being both a pianist and programmer – both of which can cause RSI!! Damn I never had these problems when I was younger!

  5. Scott
    Jun 15, 2008

    Stressed-out, sick, getting RSI? Sounds like someone hasn’t been looking after themselves.

    Maybe you need to step back for a while, spend some quiet time alone or with a couple of good friends…

  6. H
    Jun 15, 2008

    Hi Kaz,

    I’ve never replied to anyone’s blog before, but something inside has compelled me to reply. I’m sorry to hear about everything bad that is going on in your life at the moment. The funny thing is I wish I was busy as you, because then it would give me less time to think about my own life!

    I know you don’t have to take my advice, but the brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how much we want something. As long as you enjoy what you are doing then you are living; if you’re not going to have fun why do it at all? Your parents will come round in time, when they see how much you’ve grown up because of the experience they will be happy.

    I’d love to chat with you on MSN, you genuinely seem like a nice person and I’d love to hear what you have to say (find some of your views very interesting), so add me if ever you need to chat.

    Take care

  7. Maria
    Jul 17, 2008

    I’ve always been of the opinion that you’ve had a lot of fingers in a lot of pies (your life of course.. I hate to say anything that seems like I’m being judgemental). But I’ve always thought “man.. I could never do all of that..” Your body, your sanity and your happiness will reflect whether something is working for you. It’s ok to simplify.. change life direction. You have it in you to turn it all around.

    I hope your hand pain eases! I had surgery on my left hand last Friday (stitches are still in)..and the right hand will happen some time this year.. Carpal Tunnel.

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