Thought of the day10:18 pm Thu, 6th December 2007
How many times have I learnt in my life that I should never try to be somebody I’m not. Yet how many times have I put myself into situations where I compromise who I am in order to fit into what people pressure me to be, in order to please them or fit in (and why am I always about pleasing others anyway)? It is probably one of my biggest weaknesses, yet knowing what my weaknesses are doesn’t really seem to make a difference or change anything. And people take advantage of it. It always starts bit by bit.. tiny incremental compromises.. and before I know it, I just find myself miserable because I feel chained inside this fake persona that I’m not really carrying off very well to begin with.
Meh. My life has a tendancy to go to crap whenever I start pretending. So I think I should stop. I am who I am and I am happy with that.Posted in Introspection, Life | 1 Comment »
One Comment on “Thought of the day”
Jan 6, 2008
I can relate. Very much. I’ve learned to be myself and assertive.. but not on every occasion.. I have ways to go yet.. Eg. Boiling an egg in my mother-in-law’s house.. she produces an egg-timer (I don’t use them)..and then tells me when to take the egg off the stove, so I do.. even though I KNOW the egg is not how I want it.. I just fume..and get stressed. I guess because when I’ve stood up for myself and been assertive.. people who have known me to be too-easy-going then get highly offended and relationships fracture.. Seriously… I’m talking people go from loving me to hating me. I know it reflects on who they are because if people really cared/loved me.. then they would be secure in themselves..and know me well enough to know I’m not freezing them out.. or being bitchy.
It’s a tough one.. It’s fantastic to have people in your life who you can be honest with and they have your best interests at heart..and don’t try to impose their way of living on you.. and try to manipulate you.
Like you, many times in life I’ve ended up stressed and just hating a person because I have spent years, literally.. being everything to them.. and bending and moulding myself to fit in with them.. and not projecting my own personality into the relationship. It’s felt like domination.. being dominated. It’s when I have become myself that it pisses those people off. So sometimes it’s better off without them! I wish you well as you become more assertive and more “you”. 🙂